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I have to confess to all of you.

My focus with this blog has gotten completely out of whack. And it’s a picture of how my life has gotten out of whack as well.

Lately, all I’ve blogged about here has been homeschooling. I have left homeschooling pretty much take over our home life as well. With my husband being gone, and then adding homeschool to the mix, I basically did just enough to survive and get through the day. My health went into the toilet and my stress levels went through the roof. And my original goal, to use this blog to chronicle my journey becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman, went by the wayside.

I just wasn’t spending enough time in the Word and with God. And frankly, I think that alone is why, when my husband did come home last month, my body decided to fall apart two days later.

There is only so much living through your own willpower your body can handle. You just can’t live through your own strength and do anything more than survive this insane world. If I have learned anything this past year, it’s been that.

Look at our society. Aren’t most of the health issues of our country reportedly due to stress? And really, how much of that stress is truly necessary if we were living and abiding in the will of God? If we truly trusted in His provenance and His grace? If we waited on the Lord and allowed God to do His work, instead of pushing to do it ourselves?

Now I’m left to deal with the health repercussions of living with my spiritual life out of whack. According to my chiropractor, my spine isn’t in alignment and my mineral levels are depleted. According to my gynecologist, my hormones are “psycho” (My words. He’s much too polite to actually say that.) and the only recourse left seems to be to “shut down the factory.” My ENT doctor tells me my immune system is run down which is why I need horse-pill antibiotics to get rid of a sinus infection. In short, I’m a mess.

In the midst of all of this, our pastor’s sermon this Sunday was very timely.

Bay Community Church – “Out of Order”

Basically, we spend our time where our priorities lie. And if we look at our goals and resolutions, you’ll see where our true priorities are. As he mentioned, why do our New Year’s Resolutions focus on the temporal items which won’t last, instead of the spiritual, which is forever? We (and I do mean “I” in this case) give great lip service to living for Christ, and yet we don’t really live like that. Or worse, we say, I will be able to ____ for Christ after I ________ (lose 30 pounds, pay off that debt, get that raise) which of course never happens. We become hypocrites of our faith, and slaves to our taskmaster – success by the world’s view.

Is that any way to live? Is that the legacy I want to leave to my children? A life of struggle and stress?

This year, I am going to do things completely different from I have ever done them before. My “New Year’s Resolutions” are based on the spiritual. I want to reboot my focus and put my priorities in order.

My first New Year’s Priority/Resolution is simple: Put God First. Give him the FIRSTS of my life. I’m still working out what that will end up looking like, but my current ideas are:

  • Have my first thoughts awake be prayers and thanksgiving to God.
  • Be sure that my last thoughts before napping or sleeping are prayers for others and praising God.
  • Make a real focus to spend time in deep study of the Word, and reading books about the Word.
  • Get back to focusing on the girls’ spiritual development with prayer, learning Bible stories, verse memorization, and character development.
  • I need to stay involved in group Bible Studies, both for accountability and spiritual connections.
  • More conscious effort in praying for others.
  • Get back to the original message of this blog and write more about my spiritual journey, not just homeschooling or other topics.

My second New Year’s Priority/Resolution is: Put Relationships First.

I think I have a tendency, as a SAHM/WAHM and now a homeschooling mom is to stay.at.home. It’s just so much easier to never leave the house! But I know that my soul longs for human interaction. I’m really more of a people person than I have I let myself be in the past few years when I’ve been focusing so much on dealing with kids and “getting things done.” Yet, that’s not what God has called us to do! If we are to be His hands and feet, what good are we to Him if we don’t get out and reach out? So this year, I resolve to:

  • Make sure I spend time out of the house, interacting more and reaching out to connect more.
  • Focus on spending more quantity and quality time with my husband and our children, especially outdoors.
  • Take care of my health, so that I will be able to get out and have the energy to actually do things.

And my third New Year’s Priority/Resolution is to: Reach Out to Others. Use my Purpose.

This is pretty self-explanatory. God has commanded us to “Go;” not to “Sit” or “Stay.” So trying to keep that command, yet stay with the first priorities of putting God and relationships first, I plan to:

  • Use my spiritual gift of hospitality when possible. Willingly and cheerfully host coffees for groups, or functions for my husband’s office group, and perhaps host a Bible study group in my home if needed.
  • Look for small ways to serve. Meals to share, donating items to charities, or volunteering. Or perhaps a special note to encourage a friend.
  • Work my personal business with the mission to help others. Reach out and connect more using this business as a tool for sharing God’s provision.
  • Blog more. Use the internet to reach out, connect, and share God’s love with those I might never meet in person.

Of course, there are still things I’d like to accomplish this year. However, I’ve decided that I refuse to call them a Resolution, as that puts the wrong emphasis on these items, and gives them too much power over my life. So, instead, I’m going to call them “projects.” These are my “projects” for 2012:

  • Lose 20 pounds. Gain back my health. Get back to working out regularly once medical issues are resolved, and end the year strong and fit.
  • Scrapbook. I’d love to catch up (I’m about 3 years behind at this point) and I want to have fun doing it. I’d like to finish about 150 pages this year.
  • Complete our moving nightmare adventure. Get the family unpacked and settled in our new home, and happily adjusted. Pay a really nice chunk of our mortgage, keep our financial situation in control, and focus on living within our means!
  • Help us get out of debt! I really would like to actually make some money this year (normally I break even or just under).
  • Practice the guitar and play more, and finish my recipe book project that I’ve been staring at for a few years now!