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Becoming a Modern Proverbs 31 Woman

~ My Journey

Becoming a Modern Proverbs 31 Woman

Monthly Archives: September 2013

Becoming a “Work From Home” Mom . . . And Homeschooling, Day 5

26 Thursday Sep 2013

Posted by MP31W! in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Practical Tips, Work, Working and Homeschooling

As I mentioned in previous posts, I’m sharing tips and ideas that I’ve gleaned through my Working while Homeschooling time this past year. (If you would like to check out Day 1 of this series, please click here, day 2 here, and day 3 here, and day 4 here.)

TIP #7: DELEGATE.

There is just not enough you and not enough hours in the day for everything to get done. And so you’ve got to figure out ways to either clone yourself (look below), or delegate some of those responsibilities.

After figuring out our homeschooling priorities, it was easy for me to see which things were important for me not to delegate away: work (because I can’t), and homeschool. And so those are the first two things that get first dibs on my time.

Notice housework is not in that list! 🙂

When we were financially able, we would get help with the house. Even having someone come in and doing the heavy cleaning 1x a week or even every two weeks lifted a burden off of my that allowed me to deal with other things. I just needed to deal with maintaining that clean as best I could, but knowing someone had my back took a lot of the pressure off. I totally recommend getting outside help if it is ever in your budget, even if it is just once a month. I consider it time well saved and money very well spent.

Now, when it is not in our budget due to the high cost of living, there are still things I can delegate. First of all, I delegate dealing with hubby’s work clothes. There is a dry cleaner not far away that can do a MUCH better job than me on his suits and shirts for work, and much more quickly as well. They cost just $1.20 per shirt. It would take me 15-20 minutes to iron that exact same shirt, and that time would cost me a lot more in work time lost! So we delegate out his work clothes. (Happily, too. I absolutely hate ironing with a passion.)

And the biggest thing is that I’m now trying to delegate some of these cleaning activities on to the girls. I started this last year, right when we moved here and even before I got work. They were five and three at the time, and obviously this is a long-term plan. At that age there were still things they could do, which meant there were things I then didn’t have to do. We started with making their beds every morning. (Cleaning up their play area was always their task.) They have learned to fold part of the clothes, which started with matching and folding socks, to wash cloths and hand towels, to large towels, to their shorts and pants. (Shirts are complicated, so we are working up to that.) Even with that much, they now fold about half the laundry, which cuts my own time folding laundry in half. They help me clean the bathroom – they need lots of supervision but they get it done while I do things they can’t reach, like the mirrors, etc. They help put dishes away and dust, while I vacuum and clean the kitchen. The girls are a major help around the house, and we do much of that together – I can supervise and get things done while they do their part. There is absolutely no way I could complete anything around the house without their help. The house is still not perfectly clean ever, but every once in a while we will just drop everything and scrub the entire house down so we can start fresh and new.

I delegate out some homeschool things that I can’t do. The girls are in the church’s kid choir, where they are learning about music theory and performance. I could do this, but there is not much need since the church has awesome volunteers that do such a great job. We also have a babysitter that comes in twice a week (more on the big childcare issue later) and she is a fluent, native speaker of Spanish. So, she works with the girls on their Spanish. That is something I can’t do. We also rely on some summer camp activities, like Math Camp, or soccer for organized sports. We have gotten active in our church’s food pantry and their gardens, where some of the retired members of our church volunteer. One woman in particular has “adopted” my girls and they adore her. She takes them through the gardens and teaches them all about gardening. (I do not have a green thumb at all, and seem to kill just about everything I touch.)

Hubby has taken over science for me as long as I set it out for him to do, and also does many of the “field trips” when I have speaking engagements on the weekend (which happens every few months).

And we have a family in our neighborhood that is brand new to homeschooling, and I’m hoping that she and I can team up and perhaps carpool on somethings occasionally in the future. Even with homeschool, you don’t always have to do everything yourself. Take advantages of whatever resources might be around you.

TIP #8: FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO TWO THINGS AT ONCE.

And this is the big trick. You’ve got to figure out what to do when delegating isn’t possible, and until cloning is. You’ve got to do two things at once.

Almost all of my work is on the phone with clients nonstop in the afternoons, so it’s hard for me to do two things at once. But some things I’ve figured out. I run the dishwasher at lunch so it can be doing dishes while I’m working. I run the washing machine and dryer, stopping only to flip it while doing homeschool and work. That’s two things I’ve figured out so far.

Since I have both a laptop and a desktop computer, sometimes I will have something running on the laptop while I’m working so I can try to do two things at once. Like, perhaps editing pictures during breaks between calls so I can upload them during calls. Writing work blog posts during breaks. Doing “the books” during a slow period.

This is really how it boils down to me. Time IS money. Every hour I spend not on the phone with clients means that is an hour I’m not earning money. If I generally make $XX per hour dealing with clients, then whatever I do when I am not working, needs to be worth that time. (Like ironing hubby’s shirts. In the time it would take me to iron them, I could be working with clients and making $XXX amount of money, and usually am. So therefore, it really IS a lot cheaper for us to delegate that out.) I try not to waste too much time doing things that aren’t worth my time.

I know some people will argue that point with me, saying that’s a very American, humanistic point of view, and to a certain extent I agree. However, I know that time is my most precious and valuable commodity and resource that God has given me, and it is extremely important to me that I be a good steward of that resource during this time period of my life.

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Becoming a “Work From Home” Mom . . . And Homeschooling, Day 4

25 Wednesday Sep 2013

Posted by MP31W! in Uncategorized

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Tags

Practical Tips, Work, Working and Homeschooling

As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I’m sharing tips and ideas that I’ve gleaned through my Working while Homeschooling time this past year. (If you would like to check out Day 1 of this series, please click here, day 2 here, and day 3 here)

TIP #5: DEAL WITH YOUR HOMESCHOOL CURRICULUM PLAN.

You need to make your curriculum choices with your schedule in mind. For us, we went with My Father’s World Adventures program, along with Saxon Math. One of the things I truly love about these programs, is that they do the teacher’s work for you. I love the teacher manuals. I love that they do the planning and I don’t have to. I just want to teach my kids, I don’t want to do the planning! So, now that I’m working, that saves me TONS of time.

I have just three hours to get all homeschool work done each day. And most of the time it works out okay, but sometimes it a bit of a struggle. Since my girls are young, but of the homeschool work still needs a great deal of teacher/mom involvement. Perhaps when they are older we might look into doing some online computer programs, looking into co-op or outside class options. Long-term, part of our homeschool goals is to create independent learners who take ownership of their education. So, I can see our homeschooling evolving as they age, and they start to do more and more on their own.

But, in order to give me some of that independent learning time NOW while they are young, I am trying a number of different ideas. #1 is the public library. My favorite local one has a fabulous video section. I try to find “science” topic videos based on whatever we are studying at the time. Or, last year when we were reading through the stories of the Bible, we did a lot of Bible videos of the story we read that day. We even did some cute ones about Jewish holidays as they related to what we were studying (Passover/Easter, for example). This year, while studying American history, I’ll be taking advantage of that section of videos as well. And I’ve been known to record kid shows on the DVR that relate to something we’re studying – one we watched last night dealt with learning about pulleys.

I also bought a huge stack of “kid” magazines at a curriculum sale a few years ago, and have a massive kid book library at home. Many of our toys are imagination-based, and when reading Little House on the Prairie last year, I found paper dolls for the story, and some Lincoln logs for them to play with from the thrift store. Not always what you think of as “school” time, but it does help to reinforce what you’re studying. Puzzles, some games, etc can all be used as “school fun” as well.

We do not currently have a “kid” computer in the house, but I am considering getting that at Christmas.

TIP #6: GIVE UP ON REINVENTING THE HOMESCHOOL WHEEL.

Now is not the time to try to create everything yourself. All that extra “creative” planning time you had, is now probably gone. Oh, and stay away from Pinterest!

This is the time to employ a very effective method called, CASE. As in, Copy and Steal/Share Everything. I learned about it in scrapbooking. Basically, it means that you don’t HAVE to come up with your own ideas, or be Ms. Martha Stewart in your school. You just have to copy them.

Honestly, I’ve gotten to the point where I do very little of even that.

And I don’t create my own worksheets or projects. I never really did, as I don’t really enjoy that very much, and it seems like others do such a better job than I could do, anyway! For extra supplemental ideas, I use Confessions of a Homeschooler, and then I also watch Scholastic Teacher Express very closely, and jump at their $1 deal sales. (Really, those are AWESOME, and happens a couple of times a year.) Those alone have been enough for me.

And I don’t go crazy trying to invent crazy cool field trips, either. Whenever possible, I try to join up with the local homeschool groups on the ones that someone else has already done the work to organize. When I am required to volunteer with these groups to participate, I try to organize a SIMPLE, non-time-consuming activity that many will enjoy, and I try to make it relate to whatever our personal homeschool plans are. Last year we did a gardening class through my church’s food pantry garden. This year, I might be doing a State Geography night, since we will be studying geography. (I’ll be copying our already existing “International” night, and just applying it to US geography. Should be very easy. I think.)

And since hubby enjoys it, I let him take the lead on a lot of field trip stuff as well.

I know that there are several really cool ideas floating around in my head, and that one day I’ll be able to implement them all, but today is not that day. Or even that year. Right now is the time for me to let other experts take the lead.

So, I stick with following the curriculum program that I like, and supplementing with extra where I feel necessary. It’s really more important that we focus on getting the basics completed and completed well during our limited homeschool time. Everything else is just gravy.

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Becoming a “Work From Home” Mom . . . And Homeschooling, Day 3

24 Tuesday Sep 2013

Posted by MP31W! in Uncategorized

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Tags

Practical Tips, Work, Working and Homeschooling

As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I’m sharing tips and ideas that I’ve gleaned through my Working while Homeschooling time this past year. (If you would like to check out Day 1 of this series, please click here and for day 2, here.)

TIP #3: GET HUBBY’S FULL SUPPORT.

Before you can make both homeschooling and working from home work, your entire family is going to have be on board. Especially your spouse.

Part of it is understanding and accepting. Dinner will not always be on time, or exciting any more. The house will not always be clean. (And before you start laughing, realize this means from whatever the norm is now, it’s going to get worse.) Sometimes getting through the day will be all that happens. And frankly, you’re gonna need him to walk in the door, smile, say “I got this,” and order a pizza. And mean it. Untold amount of stress is going to happen if this is not a TEAM EFFORT.

And in addition, having him jump in is going to help take some of the stressful burden off of you.

And here I get to brag on my hubby. Normally, hubby is in a job where workaholic-ism is considered a regular way of life. One blessing of being here in the States is that he has more regular, “normal” hours. Which means, he really can participate in more of the day-to-day of our family. On days when I have to work late, or have evening meetings, he just jumps right in. When my day is nuts, I can throw meat out to defrost and he cooks dinner on the grill at least 1x a week. He helps clean up the kitchen when I have to jump on the computer after the girls are in bed, and flips the laundry whenever he sees it needs it. He pushes a mean vacuum cleaner!

In addition to his normal “homeschool principal” duties, we schedule “field trips” on Saturdays when I have a speaking engagement and hubby will take them to cool places. He hits the museums and cool activities around the area. It stinks for me because I miss out, but the my girls absolutely love their daddy time! He also takes care of science projects on the weekends, and decided he also wanted to teach them chess this year.

And in addition to all that, he jumps in and helps me with my business activities. He helps me with some of the work both here and with my work blog, and even plays the “spouse of” at my networking events.  I really do have a keeper, ladies, and I know it.

TIP #4: AGREE ON YOUR FAMILY PRIORITIES. AND STICK WITH THEM.

When you get started on this journey, it really helps to sit down and have a family meeting about which things are most important in your family. And then everyone needs to understand that all decisions will be made in accordance with that list.

For example, our family meeting (really just hubby and I) decided that our top priorities were homeschool, and our work – specifically focusing on my business. In addition, our homeschool mission statement that we worked on getting ready for HEAV really came out this conversation. Defining your priorities as far as your homeschool curriculum will also help keep you on track.

So, when “opportunities” come your way, you (and the rest of your family) must judge them by these priorities. Something really cool come up but doesn’t fit in? You must say no. (Also handy excuse for when you want to say no, but don’t know how!)

And it also helps you decide how to manage your time, when you follow your family priorities! For example, I was asked to be a mediator of a homeschool group online. But I turned it down because it didn’t fit into any categories of our priority list. But, being asked to lead a Bible study for the women at our church – that was a duty I accepted, because it fit into our family spiritual goals!

It also helps to have everyone on the same page – that when house is falling down around you and the fridge is empty because you haven’t been to the grocery store like you mean to, and your hubby walks in the door to find out one child prayed accept Jesus in her heart, and the other is grasping reading and math facts that you never thought would get through. Part of knowing that you achieved your goals is knowing when you achieved success. So, this is a time to decide which things mean “success” for you and your family.

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Becoming a “Work From Home” Mom . . . And Homeschooling, Day 2

23 Monday Sep 2013

Posted by MP31W! in Uncategorized

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Tags

Practical Tips, Work, Working and Homeschooling

As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I’m sharing tips and ideas that I’ve gleaned through my Working while Homeschooling time this past year. (If you would like to check out Day 1 of this series, please click here.)

TIP #1: BECOME A SCHEDULING QUEEN.

Welcome to the world of the hyper-scheduled! Really. Yeah, I know – this is one of the things I loved most about my homeschool life before working. How life was just allowed to more organically happen and wasn’t ruled by the Almighty-Calendar.

Yeah, that is over.

You need to get yourself the best organizational calendar program you can find. Digital, paper, whatever. I personally use a combination of both: Outlook for my job, Cozi as a family calendar (sharing everything with Hubby), and a hard copy organizer/planner that I love but keep forgetting to use and update. Way too many to deal with – but I can’t seem to let go of the paper planner. We also both have cheapie phones, so I don’t have a way of taking Cozi around with me when out, and hubby doesn’t always see my paper planner. So, until I come up with a better solution, this is what we’re stuck with. I really like Cozi for what it does. I wish PlannerPads would come out with a digital version of their calendar though! That would be my ideal.

In order for me to stay relatively sane, and not let balls drop, I have to keep my calendars hyper-organized and up-to-date. At least twice a month I will go through all the emails I have in-boxes (cause yeah, I have multiple email accounts to deal with now, too) and make sure everything is organized and added. EVERY LITTLE THING. Playdates, doctor appointments, going to the grocery store, everything.

On top of scheduling like a banshee, are routines. I had to create all new routines in order to get things done. Before this fall, when hubby worked late on Mondays, I took that evening to run errands like library trips and grocery shopping whenever possible. (I love that my favorite library is open late!) Now, we’re doing American Heritage Girls on Monday nights, so will have to work on creating a new routine for that this year.

I’m also working on helping my girls get more organized about their own routines. Instead of “chore charts” (I’m not a fan), I’ve created “Morning and Evening Routine Reminders” to help them remember what to do, hopefully with less nagging reminders from me. (I do plan to share that soon, as well!)

And hubby has also joined in on the bandwagon. He is actually remembering to add his own things to the Cozi calendar, and check there for the family schedule. And has adding “helping out a LOT more” to his own personal routines as well. But I promise, more on that later as well. Because our hubby’s deserve their own section!

Moral of this story: if it is not on my calendar, and not on my to-do list, IT WILL NOT GET DONE.

TIP #2: LEARN TO SAY NO. A LOT. LIKE ALL THE TIME. EVEN IF YOU DON’T WANT TO.

Here’s the thing. There are only so many hours in the day. And only so many days in the week. And only so many weeks in the month. And so on.

And there is just one you.

There are a lot of things you are going to have to give up if you want to homeschool and work. Currently I work between 20-30 hours per week. We homeschool from 9am-12pm, have 1/2 hour for lunch, and then I work from 12:30pm-5pm every day. At five, I start dinner, rush around trying to clean the kitchen or whatever can be cleaned in that half-hour, and when hubby arrives home we eat dinner. The girls go to bed between 7:30pm-8pm and then I get back on the laptop to pretend to work some more (or that’s the idea).

That doesn’t leave a lot of time for extras.

We don’t do many afternoon activities – because I have to work. Play dates are ew and far between. We do field trips, but there are few of those during the week. Most of those last a full day –  and I have to work. Mainly they happen on weekends, with Daddy, when I have a work engagement on the weekends. All field trips are planned and scheduled far in advance, so I can organize my work schedule around them.

We do not do co-ops. The co-ops for younger children in our area really tend to be “elective” type courses, and also require the parent to teach/volunteer. I personally don’t want to volunteer for those, and I don’t have time to waste doing lesson plans for random electives.

There is little “free” time for me as well. Any time I have free is already well – accounted for with a mile-long to do list, or cleaning.

So, you have to start saying no all the time to others, even when there are fabulous ideas floating around, and things you would really LIKE to do, but know you will really never get it done. There are others who can and maybe should do it. But right now? It’s not me. If it’s not work or homeschool, it’s a very low chance I’ll say yes.

Bottom line: You have to GUARD YOUR TIME. Because it is precious and fleeting.

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Becoming a “Work From Home” Mom . . . And Homeschooling, Day 1

22 Sunday Sep 2013

Posted by MP31W! in Uncategorized

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Practical Tips, Work, Working and Homeschooling

You might not believe me, but I’ve had this idea in my queue of blog post ideas for over a year and a half. Really! I checked!

If I had written this article back then, it would have been a MUCH different article. Back then, I was working, but working solely for myself, and on a much smaller scale.

That all changed last November. Moving to DC put us in a much different financial situation than we had been prepared for, and my working became necessary rather than “extra.” I finally found a contract position where I could do the same work for another organization, with much more regular hours and pay, with little of the marketing/sales stress it takes when trying to drum up your own business.

But we were still homeschooling! What to do then? Working the calendar, I figured I could work in the afternoons and still be able to homeschool in the mornings. It would just take organization on my part. And so, that is what we did.

Boy howdee, did it take some organization! (More on that later.)

Recently I’ve seen a lot of post in homeschooling groups about working while homeschooling. There are lots of questions, lots of ideas and opinions, and just like homeschooling, lots of ways to make it work for you and your family.

I love the work that I do. I really enjoy the company I work with. They are a great organization – encourage telecommuting and working from home, and offer complete flexibility of my schedule. (Oh, and pay pretty well!) I love working with my private clients, dealing with my speaking engagements, getting to wear grown-up clothes every once in a while (even the hose I hate so much), and attending networking events. I love that the work I do – I’m a career coach – means something. It makes a difference in people’s lives, in a very tangible way. I love that my girls see me not just in a “stay at home mom” role, but me working and being successful at it.

I love homeschooling. I love just hanging with my girls and watching the silliness they create with their learning (like running around the house after bathtime “dressed like Pocahontas” – after we learned at our Jamestown field trip – they wore nothing but a loincloth. The girls interpreted that to be a washcloth, and so that’s all they wanted to wear as well! Not exactly what I was hoping they’d remember from that trip, but at least they learned something!). I love the deep discussions they want to have about their Bible lesson, or how my youngest still wants to sit in my lap while we do her reading lesson at my desk. I absolutely love listening to them read! Imagine! My little tiny babies. . .  reading!

But I hate having to do both at the same time.

It’s not my ideal. I feel pulled in all directions, and like I do multiple things half-way and nothing really well. And as I get more and more successful at my “job” it’s starting to tug harder and harder at my most limited resource – my time. It is very, very hard to keep the boundaries there firm, especially when work is a financial necessity. There is no “down time.” Ever. I run and run and run like the Energizer Bunny, and then I collapse in bed, only to start again the next day. I start to understand the pull to “just put the kids in public school. Life would be so much easier.” Easier, maybe. Less joyful, definitely.

Even so, this happens to be the season of life I’m in, so I can either whine and moan and complain about it, or I can deal with it and look for the good. And enjoy it all while it lasts.

So, this series will cover some of my personal tips and advice on the HOW to make Homeschooling and Working work for you. Please note that I am not planning on telling you what work to do, or how to find a “work from home” job. If you really want that kind of advice, pay me to help you! 🙂 Besides, each of us has different skills and talents, and your best bet will be to find the work/position that best fits those skills and talents.

Instead, I will be focusing more on things you can do to help keep you from going completely insane in the process of both working and homeschooling. As long as you don’t hold me liable when you do! Cause you will. But then, most people think you were insane for just thinking about homeschooling. So you’re really just continuing further down the path to CrazyTown. And we’ll all be there to welcome you when you arrive and join us!

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Silence

16 Monday Sep 2013

Posted by MP31W! in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Devotional Time, First Things First, Prayer

I read this article I received in the mail this morning from “Gospel for Asia” and wanted to share it with you. How is the article impacting you?

More than we may realize, very little do we really know God and hear Him. Sometimes when I am in an airport, I find myself turning up the volume on my cellphone as high as I can because the gate announcer is screaming, but still I can’t hear. Unless the noises around us are eliminated, we simply can’t hear the person on the other end.

“Lord, my heart is not haughty, nor my eyes lofty. Neither do I concern myself with great matters, nor with things too profound for me. Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child is my soul within me.” (Psalm 131:1-2)

Recently, I have been studying about knowing God and about prayer, and I’ve come upon this passage. Although I don’t have many regrets in my life, maybe one of the most serious regrets is not always taking the time to quiet myself before the Lord and hear what He has to say. Even when we pray, our minds can be like a a drama with multiple voices talking, arguing, thinking, making multiple mental notes–and God stands outside, desperately wanting us to hear His still, small voice.

Silence is the loudest prayer we can offer, because in silence the Holy Spirit reveals Christ’s current burdens to us. We then respond back to Him — sometimes without even fully understanding the prayers we pray.

I encourage you to take the time to be silent before the Lord and to listen for His voice. You will be surprised to hear God speaking things you haven’t heard before. And you will pray for things you never prayed before. For a world that is waiting to hear of Christ’s love, God is saying to us, “I am looking for someone to be still, be silent.” He is looking for someone who will try to find out what He is saying.

Thank you for standing in the gap through your prayers and support to see God’s kingdom advanced in Asia. I hope that as you will continue praying, you reflect on how He will use you for His glory.

– K.P. Yohannan

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The Proverbs 31 Woman (nasb)

Description of a Worthy Woman

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight.
She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.
She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
"Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all."
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.

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