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Becoming a Modern Proverbs 31 Woman

~ My Journey

Becoming a Modern Proverbs 31 Woman

Monthly Archives: July 2014

Waking Up Full of Awesome!

09 Wednesday Jul 2014

Posted by MP31W! in Uncategorized

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I’ve had an idea to write this post for several years now, and just never got around to it. But suddenly tonight, I knew it was the right time.

Melissa Atkins wrote a blog in 2011 starting, “There was a time when you were five years old, and you woke up full of awesome” and I knew exactly who she was talking about.

Because I know someone who wakes up full of awesome. Every. Single. Day.

DSC_0132

Our Oldest, December 2010. Full of Awesome-ness

Eight years ago today, I got to meet this amazing gal.

DSCF1428.1 DSCF1915 DSCF1956 DSCF2228

Little did I know that this sweet angelic baby (who could easily projectile puke 6 feet – what a talent!) was going to grow up into one of the spunkiest, sweetest, most loving and most energetic people I have ever met. Seriously – she has more feisty squeezed into her little body than should be physically possible. And she wakes with an amazing smile on her face every single gosh darn morning. Usually even before the sun has come up.

When she was about 4 1/2, I bought her an alarm clock to keep her IN bed, not to get her out!

Sometimes I feel like I spend my days trying to figure out how to expend all that energy before she spontaneously combusts. Actually, I do spend my days like that. Partly in hopes that she will sleep (so I can), and partly in total amazement. Where in the world does it all come from?

???????????????????????????????This chick is one cool kid. Her exuberance and zest for life draw people to her like moths to a flame. She can walk up to a total stranger and make best friend in SECONDS. Effortlessly. Hubby and I even have look for each other that says, Yup, here she goes again.     ???????????????????????????????229062_10152235213332366_1324306355_n 150925_10152533555587366_401314081_n 10401395_10153089196287366_5140085502788745933_nShe has her own fashion sense. I definitely had nothing to do with that!

ry%3D480Life for her is an adventure just waiting to happen and she dying to dive into the deep end and revel in all of it. I have honestly never met someone so just full of JOY. She speaks in exclamation points and means it.

SONY DSC SONY DSC1170693_10152838236392366_231027279_nHer imagination is a deep ocean of amazing ideas and FUN for all involved. She has this insatiable thirst for knowing – knowing anything and everything. She can ask you more questions than you knew EXISTED.

Really. She can make your ears hurt.

10155775_10152995037022366_5686302409326331016_nShe has this massive heart and capacity for caring. She loves to the point where you just can’t help but smile and love back, warmed just by being in her presence.

10300704_10153089382207366_6327866733618427532_nThis girl is just so full of awesome, it can’t help but fall out on anyone who is around her.

10313531_10153089196537366_9068788465479046416_nI pray she never ever loses it .

10376187_10153105084242366_3341987714009824390_n

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More On Our New Year: Recipe For Success

08 Tuesday Jul 2014

Posted by MP31W! in Uncategorized

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I’ve been finding a lot of business articles lately (I read them for my career coaching business) to the effect of “What Successful People Do Before Breakfast Every Day” or something similar. I read these articles and think about why we, as homeschool moms, as moms in general, aren’t looking at these articles and applying them to our own lives. Heck, don’t we even make jokes of being “CEO of ___ Home” sometimes?

I WANT to teach my children successful life skills. I WANT them to have the ability to be successful CEO’s, if that is what their future entails. But yet, we all know kids learn by watching US. US. So, why aren’t we implementing these lessons in our own lives? Do you really think the only thing you can pass on to your children is how to clean a bathroom and cook a meal? Why aren’t we homeschool moms truly considering ourselves successful leaders? Aren’t we? Don’t we want our family (i.e. “company” in terms of these articles) to be successful? Aren’t we leaders of our children? How can they learn to lead themselves if we don’t first lead them?

So, those are the thoughts that were rolling through my head when I saw the article, “Here’s the Schedule Very Successful People Follow Every Day” this morning.  Following the points of this article, here are some of the thoughts I had about our new year and new schedule. (The article talks about “systems” and “routines.” I like those words a lot better- they seem a lot less stressful!)

“The Morning Ritual-Laura Vanderkam studied the schedules of high-achievers. What did she find? They rise early. Almost all have a morning ritual.”

Oh my gosh, I HATE this one. I am NOT a morning person. I NEVER WILL BE SO QUIT TRYING TO MAKE ME ONE! I will never be someone who gets up at 4am just to get ahead of everyone else. Seriously, I want my sleep! 7am is the maximum earliest I will get up. Period. Forever. There is not enough money in the world to me to deal with 0’dark-early. But, I will admit to dragging out of bed much later whenever I’m allowed by the shorties in the house. Add laziness in with dealing with chronic health issues and a touch of occasional insomnia – and you’ve got a recipe for a late-starting-mama.

So, yes, I’m going to start setting our new home and new year with “systems and “routines” for mornings. I’ve got the girls pretty well set up for themselves, and now I’ve got to go back to implementing one for me! My unwritten list currently consist of:

  • Praying and Praising God before I even get out of bed. Giving Him my first moments of the day.
  • Showering and getting dressed and ready for the day- basically what I call “looking like a human being” (minus makeup unless I have to).
  • Making my bed and straightening up of my room. (I make the girls do it, I need to model good habits for them. At least that is the mantra I repeat to myself.)
  • Wipedown and straightening up of bathroom. (Again, I make the kids do it.)
  • Starting the chores that can do themselves (laundry and dishes).
  • Overall straightening up to start the day of the top floor of the house before going downstairs. Not the deep cleaning but making sure one floor is more or less presentable. Seeing if certain chores needed to be added to kid list that day, such as dusting, etc. Grabbing whatever doesn’t belong on that floor and moving it to appropriate floor.
  • Throwing food at the children. Someone else might refer to that as loving making breakfast for your darlings, but less face it, coffee has not happened on this list yet!

And yes, I’m going to make it a goal to actually start being consistent with this routine at 7am.

“If you want to achieve work-life balance you need to determine what is important and focus on that. (And research shows goals make you happier.) Having concrete goals was correlated with huge increases in confidence and feelings of control.”

Oh yeah, us homeschool moms love our goals and plans, right? I believe creating your homeschool mission statement (here or here) or a family mission/vision statement is the very first step. And I’m sure that you’ve created your curriculum plan and have that organized, because that’s usually the very first thing us homeschool moms think of!

But, what about the rest? The home, church, outside activities, family life, and yourself? What are those concrete goals?

For the first time in several years, I created a list of goals for this year for myself – ones that had nothing to do with homeschooling! Because, you know what? I am not JUST a homeschool mom. I am a woman, a wife, a mom, and a small business owner. I am also a scrapbooker and lover of music. I am a Child of the Most High God. And I have found that when I shove all that to the side to give it all only to the homeschooler part or only to the work part, that “work/life balance” thing feels very out-of-tune. And I feel miserable because my own personal needs are being shoved aside and not fulfilled. Those things MUST be scheduled in a built into my routine ON PURPOSE! There are things I need to do to survive, and there are things I need to do to thrive. Attending an indepth Bible study, scrapbooking once a month with friends, getting that occasional date night out.

Which leads us to:

“Important Work First Thing — With No Distractions . . . Early morning is also when you’re most disciplined. . . In studies of geniuses, most did their best work early in the day.”

Yeah, running around trying to squeeze everything in because I started my day later than I ought just builds more stress and makes me more cranky. Added in, I start homeschooling with that lengthy ToDo list pounding through my brain and little girls clamoring for my undivided attention. Stress upon stress upon stress does not equal success. Stress makes me tend to withdraw and burrow into my hole – which honestly leads to less satisfaction and less homeschool success as well. I can’t tell you how many times we ended homeschool “early” this past year just because I couldn’t deal. I just desperately needed space!

I just really need ALONE time in the morning. I need to be by myself, alone with my thoughts. I need to be able to focus on ToDo list and create mental order to my day. Being more of a introvert than 2/4 of my family (which is not saying much because that 2/4 of the family is SOOO extroverted they’d talk to a brick wall), I feel like I need to “prepare” to deal with people each day. I do better when I have this “white space” in my life.

If I actually start my date remotely on time, I will have the ability to do this. I plan on blocking out one hour each morning for myself – for devotional and prayer time, for writing time for work (where most of my ToDo list gets bogged down), etc. Sometimes to accomplish this I have been outside while the girls ride their bikes or play outside (burning off some of their Energizer Bunny energy) and that works too. But I just need this time as much as I need air.

“Regroup When You Slow Down.”

If I have learned one thing in the past few years, is to listen to my body. I have to respect it when it is telling me that I am getting close to hitting the wall. There is no such “”pushing through” or “pushing past” it for me anymore. I no longer have the Energizer Bunny’s energy and that was a bitter pill for me to swallow. So if my body says take a break, I must take that break. Often it won’t be long, perhaps a 20-30 minute rest will do it.

Also, studies show there is a normal lag around 3pm in your circadian rhythms- make sense why 3pm is normal “coffee break” time right? That’s why I really love the idea of “afternoon tea.” Not that I like tea so much. I do like the idea of just taking a break and recharging and reconnecting with family for a few minutes each day before the craziness of the afternoon and evening starts. If possible (with my work schedule), I am going to try and start an “afternoon break with Mommy” each afternoon when my girls normally have snack-time, where we can sit and have “tea” together. This will just be a slightly fancier version! And to help out, I can give my girls the project of setting the table and getting everything ready (except the actual tea) beforehand.

“A Relaxing Evening. Though successful people do work long hours, the greats almost all take the evening off to recharge.”

When you work out of the home, the idea is that you leave work there and not carry with you through the front door. But when you ARE at home, it’s like you never leave the office! At some point you just need to STOP. Stop cleaning, stop prepping, stop organizing and checking emails and writing articles and whatever. And this is the part I am just not that good at.

Part of that was the stress of trying to keep up with DC-based finances and also build up my business as well. In effect,  I’ve been doing jobs at once – homeschool, mom, my business, and a contract job to fill in the cracks. And well, that often spilled far into the evenings. I am hoping and looking forward to that improving in our new home. At some point you have have to say, “To Heck With It All!” and leave it for another day.

And how in the world do we recharge? I love reading to the girls before bedtime – it gives me an excuse to re-enjoy some of my childhood favorites. (We are in the midst of On the Banks of Plum Creek now, and I’m planning to read Pippi Longstocking next.) Perhaps I’ll play with my scrapbooking stuff, or recharge and reconnect with the hubby. Goodness knows we could use some of that. Perhaps occasionally I’ll be able to squeeze out for a walk/jog in our new neighborhood while hubby is in charge of bath time? Obviously anything with screens is discouraged,  because the false light is actually not going to help you sleep at night.

And one of the main points, and something I’ve been trying to improve on this year, is going to bed at a reasonable hour. If you’re staying up til 2am, then of course it’s going to be hard to make it through the day! Since I’m more of a night person (surrounded by morning people), this is difficult for me to do, but I feel so much better when I make it happen. My current goal is to be in bed by 11 – with the idea that hopefully sleep will not be far behind.

“Knowing the best time to get the right things done is key. What will this schedule do for you? Well, when the day ends you’re still going to find that you didn’t get everything done. But that won’t bother you much because you did the things that mattered, and did them well.”

What I love about this article is that it’s not about being a “drone” tied to the clock, or being a slave to a “schedule.” I like that it focuses more on how working with your body’s natural rhythms can be more successful and more rewarding. And that is what I am personally striving for. Yes, I probably won’t get more done, but I hope to get done what is more important and get it all done well.

If you have “routines” or “systems” that work well for you, I’d really  like to hear about them! I am always looking for new ideas! Let’s all help each other start our “new year” off right!

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First Things First: Thinking About the New Year

07 Monday Jul 2014

Posted by MP31W! in Uncategorized

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Well, we have made it back to the same hotel we started our DC lives in. We have survived and perhaps even thrived a little amidst the chaos and stress.  We have packed out of our house and once again living in hotel limbo before moving to our new location.  (To Pennsylvania, for those who are wondering. More on that another time.)

So, since we’ll be “starting over” in a few weeks in a new location, my mind has really been focused on our new year. New school year specifically, but also creating our lives in a new place. New routines. I really hate the word schedule – but yeah, that’s what I mean.

Our girls are older this time. More self sufficient. (And potty trained!!!!) More self entertained. Much more able to participate and help in family life. Really, they are fabulous helpers. But being older also means a bit more involved – schoolwork is a bit more intense and takes longer. Girls are involved in regular activities that require more time and organization. I’m working now too. Which takes more time away than I’d like. And which requires me to live much more tied to the clock than I prefer. But I’m also doing really great work for very good pay, and truly making a difference and helping people.  There are just a lot more balls in the air this time – and it’s important that I plan and prep how to keep them that way.

There are things I hope to do differently in our new home:

First of all, I hope we can make our homeschool time a little less stressful. It’s been quite a busy year and you guys know I’ve already talked about being behind. My first goal is to get all of that DONE. Then, with our new curriculum, I really focused on things that could be enjoyable and done together. I didn’t want to spend time doing work that was a drag for me to go through as well! I’m trying to get away from “busywork” and focus on true learning, though I know sometimes we’re going to NEED to do those worksheets – practicing math facts and writing skills, etc. I’m looking forward to a lot more exploring and field trip time in our new area! Because they are older and can read fairly well now, there is a lot more they can do independently (I am using a computer program for math, for example.) We also applied to join a co-op, which I truly hope will take some burden off, and I found an online scheduler/portfolio log type-program (more on that soon!) that I will use, since tracking is going to be very important in the homeschool laws in our new state.

I’m hoping that we can build in some cleaning help into our budget. Honestly, I really feel this is completely necessary- I just can’t do all that I’m doing and keep that big a house in liveable shape. I’m willing to go without a few things to have someone come in once a month and scrub toilets. I’ll start organizing this once we move in.

I’m also hoping to build in some “white space” in my day. I got very little of this in our time in DC (still don’t have it, since I’m sitting at a hotel, working my brains out while the girls are at camp!) Our financial needs were such that I needed to be that busy in DC, and I’m hoping that will slack off after we move. But also, I am going to need more time with the girls and with the hubby. We need “relaxation” in our home desperately. One thing that really worked here was going to a meal assembly prep place to create all of our meals monthly. (WHICH I LOVED, by the way. LOVED.) I haven’t found much like that locally, so I’m going to attempt to do it for myself. It’s not as easy to do that gluten-free, but I’m going to make a massive effort. I love just pulling a bag out of the freezer to defrost each morning. I LOVE not having to think about meal planning.

I am also hoping to build in an hour of “me time” to work each morning. I’ve learned in the past two years that I really need an hour of “personal thinking time” so that my brain can handle two extremely active, energetic girls in the morning. But also, I’m hoping this will helping me put a dent into my work so that I can feel less stressed by the never-ending todo list pulling at me while I do focus on school work. My ultimate goal is that if I do schedule that hour in daily – this massive pile of writing work that I’m so far behind in will eventually get caught up. Perhaps. One day before I turn 50. 🙂 And I can also use that time to keep myself focused on the Word as well.

A new idea I’ve wanted to implement for a while is starting to have “afternoon tea.” While I personally am not a huge fan of tea, my girls love having tea parties. And I’d really like to institute a 3pm break (when they normally snack anyway) for myself as well. This way I can get away from the computer and work a bit, and truly reconnect with my girls for a short time. I can make it their responsibility to “set up tea” every day (except for the hot tea) and I’ve even got my eye on an adorable tea set! They are growing up so fast, and I feel like I’m missing out. So, perhaps this tea time will turn into a great time to build up for future trust and communication when they get older.

And I really need to add in some form of exercise. I already know that I will be going even more focused into healthy living, etc because I consider myself “half-way to healthy.” I’ve been very focused on this and I am doing SOOOOoooooo much better than I was, but I really feel I have further to go. And now I feel like I am at the point where I need to start focusing on getting that number on the scale to go down once again and getting things firm and tone and reasonably close to where they ought to be! With our insurance, we actually get a deep discount at some gyms in the area, so we will check those out and see if it’s possible for us to join. (We’ve been told the Y is amazing there, as well.) I won’t be able to do high-impact, hard-core anything for a while, but I’d like to start out with some yoga classes. And get our girls into ballet – not only because they love it, but because I know how good it is for posture and poise! I want to model a healthy, active lifestyle for them, so they learn those good habits and see that as “normal” when they become an adult.

And I’ve got a bit of science to back up all those ideas. Here is a study that talks about how frequent breaks help keep kids focused. Really, how can adults be that much different? We need  breaks to rejuvenate and clear our minds. I know I do, at least. So I’m trying to think of our schedule with that in mind.

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The Proverbs 31 Woman (nasb)

Description of a Worthy Woman

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight.
She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.
She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
"Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all."
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.

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